Daily Quote/Meditation: The future can be a wild beast.

I don’t worry about the future anymore. The future can be a wild beast; I usually can’t control it and it rarely does what I want it to do.

I just live in the moment and do what needs to be done – and look at the sky at a fluffy cloud, every once in a while, and thank God and Mother Nature for the beautiful things to look at. 🙂

Said this to a very dear friend while we were were just talking.

I have goals, yes, but most are flexible. My life has always been a series of adventures and I never know what surprises are around the corner. So, I keep an ever growing to-do and idea list- etch away bit by bit. Top of that list is to take time for me, each day, and stay centered and find gratitude. If I continue that, and continue to work on myself from inside out, the rest has a way of working out how it needs to.

Science or Religion? Whichever, I find gratitude and celebrate the small moments on a path to happiness and self-love.

God created humans to be self-critical, but also curious and inflective. God also created us to recognize the gifts of beauty that are everywhere, to find gratitude, humility, spirituality, being centered, at peace, and finding self-love. I have never believed that God is an angry punishing God – I’m sure he has a lot to do and no time to micromanage us – but instead created a system that manages itself. Ways to find ourselves back to our path when we are open to his spirit.

I say this often: I am not religious. One of the gifts of bipolar is that we are able to use both sides of our brain. I am both immensely creative and can live in science and the abstract. So I understand the science, physics, and chemistry of how things work, grow and thrive on a biological and chemical level. BUT, I believe that a Higher Power MUST have created this universe, spun the laws of nature into motion, and spawned the energy that cannot be created nor destroyed. We, as humans, can change it, we can bend it, we can transfer it, we can send it to the moon – but, that I know of, we cannot create it.

As a curious person, I have been to the church of every denomination of Christianity, meditated with Buddhist Monks, and been to Mosque and Temple. I have found a way to connect spiritually through all of them. I have had conversations of deep growth, that have changed my belief system, through my faith-filled friends -when I am in a place of peace, understanding, and love.

So I say this: It doesn’t matter to me if you are Catholic, Baptist, Pentecostal, Buddhist, Athiest, or just like to stand on tree stumps doing Yoga poses… Take a moment, as often as possible, to stop, take a deep breath, look at a beautiful fluffy cloud or smell the flowers that are for sale in the grocery store – and find a place of gratitude for that moment. Find a piece of joy and LOVE at that moment.

Daily Quote\Meditation: Turning Monsters into mice.

There are actually two that I want to post, that hit me on the same day.

To yield and give way to our passions is the lowest form of slavery; to rule over them is the only liberty. – Saint Justin

Hazelden Twenty-Four Hours a Day book: If your heart is right, your world will be right. THe beginning of all reform must be in yourself. It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you take it.However restricted your circumstances, however little you may be able to remedy financial affairs, you can always turn to your inward self and, seeing something not in order there, seek to right it. The power released from within yourself will change your outward life.

I was slave to my passions for a very long time. I allowed cross addictions to rule over me, in enthusiasm, instead of looking at myself. I wasn’t drinking or doing drugs – but I knew there was fundamentally something wrong, deep inside. Turns out, there were several issues I needed to work on. We all have our battles. But when I refused to do the hard work on myself, I wasn’t happy. Giving into my passions was a temporary “feel good” that still left me feeling empty, isolated, alone, and miserable. I put all of my energy into a heavy mask of “everything is great” but felt drained from it. Then seeked more bad behavior for a temporary boost and to keep that wall strong.

It wasn’t until I removed temptations and bad behaviors, and sat with myself, before the real work could begin. I had to stare the beasts, that I was building walls around, directly in the eyes and tame them. Understand them. Train them. Learn to live with some of them. That is okay. I am still tearing that wall down, but have reduced the monsters to mice. I see them scurry around, every once in a while, but will not allow them the power to become monsters again. I have done too much work from within, and have walked too far down this path to hope and happiness, to fear them anymore.

Daily Quote/Meditation: True Humility

One of the daily sources of quotes and meditations that I use is my Hazelden Twenty-Four Hours a Day book. I picked this up from my recovery program.

I’ve spoken with a few people about today’s meditation, as it runs in alignment with a few of my recent posts.

This was the meditation of the day:

Not until you have failed can you learn true humility. Humility arises from a deep sence of gratitude to God for giving you the strength to rise above past failures. Humility is not inconsistent with self-respect. The true person has self-respect and the respect of others and yet is humble. The humble person is tolerant of other’s failings and does not have a critical attitude toward the foibles of others. Humble people are hard on themselves and easy on others.

This really hit me in a few ways.

First off, I’ve been working constantly on having gratitude. I’ve said, a few times, that through gratitude I feel spiritually connected and find humility. These are needed before I can be at peace and centered. The connection that I wasn’t making, is that through my failures I can find gratitude. I have allowed my failures to hold me back; feel stupid, insecure, and undervalue myself. But instead, I should learn from those failures and celebrate that I have overcome them.

Secondly, a new friend of mine discussed that God (even though she is very religious and I am not, I believe in God and we are able to connect on many levels in dealings of spirituality) puts failures in our lives for the very reason to find gratitude for our ability to overcome them. We need the failures to grow and follow our paths. During this discussion, I looked back at my life. Indeed, if I had not had the challenges that I have faced, and failed miserably in some of them, I may not have found the stength to talk about my life’s events openly and help others. I may have continued to try to shove myself into the “box” that I believed society was trying to place me into – and not discovered this path to hope and happiness. For that, whether it be a series of stacked coincidences (that continue to unfold and mystically amaze me) or a path layed out by our divine creator (that spun the laws of Mother Nature and this universe into action), I am eternally and immensely grateful.