Even when frustrated. A little irritated.
I look at something like this. I say “Thank you Mother Nature. Thank you, God, for making the laws of physics that make up Mother Nature and giving us the ability to recognize such beauty.”
All the sudden, my problems become so small against such grandeur. My frustration and irritation dissipate. I smile. I feel fulfilled.
I have just connected spiritually – talked to God. I have been humbled. I have been filled with gratitude. My faith has been renewed.
It happens so quickly, when I stop my mind, connect with my senses, and open my soul.
I had to make a decision: to be happy or continue to simply exist? The decision to be happy came around September of last year – I was homeless and living out of my car, on the road.
I had gotten in trouble in many ways (possible legal trouble, that worked itself out), disappointed and hurt everyone I knew (again), and hated the person that I was. I was doing the bare minimum to live; waiting to die. I had left, on my journey, with the intentions of never connecting to another person. As I came out of a nasty drug relapse, and my head cleared in upstate New York (now living out of a tent), I made a decision to change. Not for show or to “survive,” but realized that I had to. For me.
I made the decision to find the path to happiness.
I used my new Instagram to document my journey and began connecting to people in magnificent ways. Met people on the road that became like family. Change was happening, but I didn’t know how to focus it.
I had tried in the past. Learned so many tools in recovery and outpatient programs for my bipolar disorder. But felt overwhelmed by the number of daily things that I had to do. I also hadn’t let go of some unhealthy ideas and my huge false pride.
In the past 6 months, the real progress has occurred. Leading up to that, I was experimenting with things that did and didn’t work. I had to learn that change comes slowly. Pick one or two things and be consistent with them. Keep what sticks and replace what doesn’t. Be patient with myself. When I fail, not to let it knock me back down to the foot of the mountain. Just dust off and keep pushing.
I wont be making New Years resolutions. That has always been a set up for failure. Instead, I’ll see every day as a “New Year” and continue walking the path to become a better person.
I say this for those of my friends who feel overwhelmed by change. Dont worry. Dont stress. Try one or two things that you have been wanting to change – and you dont have to wait till the New Year. 😂😂 Every day is a good day to try something new or do something that makes you feel better about yourself.
I thank Mother Nature for that. To me, Mother Nature was created by the laws of physics and science – put into place by a higher power. I’m not religious, but very spiritual. Also, science based. If science proves, without doubt, that energy can not be created or destroyed – then where did it originate from ultimately?
I used to thank God at every beautiful sunset, smell of a fragrant flower, or fluffy cloud that captivated me. Now I smile and say “thank you Mother Nature.” Then I thank God – that gratitude keeps me humble and centered – for giving humans the ability to recognize that beauty. Ability to perceive symmetry. For the Golden Proportion that is found in almost all of nature and it giving us joy from a lobe in our brain and then down to the soul. Or does it hit the soul first, as a gift for us to connect spiritually, then registered by the brain?
Doesn’t matter to me. I feel the connection when I slow down and am open to it. For that, I am so grateful.
It’s like asking a bright burning star, off in the night sky, to stop radiating its light across space and time; instead, you should try being an small ice covered moon.
I look back and just laugh that I thought, for part of my life, that I could cram myself into a corporate routine filled box, stuck in a rut.
I thought that I needed strict structure to be grounded. Routine, yes, but that fits my needs. In fact, it is expressing my creativity that is a huge part of my joy, happiness, zest for life, and ability to ground myself.
If you are not happy or feel stuck in your rut – go find your self. It doesn’t have to be a year and a half adventure/journey, homeless on the road, like I took. Just start with one thing on your “I’ve always wanted to…” list.
Something that has worked amazingly well for me: I see someone that is in a trade that interests me. I offer to work insanely cheap as long as they teach me their skill. Never has anyone turned me down. I bust my ass, at it, for 10 dollars an hour. Without asking, they increase the pay quickly. In a month or two, they are sub-contracting jobs to me. Now, I almost have the skills to build a house from scratch. I can work with almost any medium in my art – from wood, to welding, water, electrical, and fire.
So take a little risk, and find your joy.
Little inspiration from my second walk through a meditation circle.
If you believe that people cannot change, then let me be walking proof that we can. It takes some work and constancy, but we can choose a path of happiness and peace.
Don’t allow fear to tell you that you can’t do something. Allow it to keep you cautious not to move too quickly, and fall, as you charge forward.
Don’t allow fear to keep you from following your path. Allow it to help you choose solid rocks to climb and keep firm footing.
Don’t allow fear to keep you from connecting with people. Allow it to help you choose people who share strength and encouragement. Separate from others, while they find their way, so you don’t loose yours.
I was thinking about fear, this morning. I used to say I wasn’t afraid of anything. In reality, I just stupidly charged into dangerous situations to cover the fact that I was overwhelmed with fear. Fear of not succeeding, fear from all the bad decisions I had made, and fear of facing my past to push forward.
I still have fear. But that fear is beginning to transform into a healthy fear. As self-love and confidence builds, my fear now keeps me safe and cautious.
When you hear your success being applauded, let there also sound in your ears the laughter you provoked with your failures.
– Jose Maria Escriva
I love this. In the past, I couldn’t accept praise well. I was too filled with doubt, fear, and negativity. Now, I am grateful for praise, as I am confident in myself, but almost always mention the failures that led to the success. This allows me to take pride in my successes while keeping grounded with humility.