Find your Peace from within.

I made a timelaps of the sunrise, this morning. It was beautiful.

While it was filming, one of my daily meditations really hit me in the right spot. I took an excerpt from it and made this short video. The full daily is below, from the book Jesus Calling. As I have said many times, I am not a religious person. But I am very spriritual and belive it all comes from the same Devine source. With that, I am able to connect spiritually through many people, sources, and nature. ❤❤❤

“LEARN TO LIVE from your true Center in Me. I reside in the deepest depths of your being, in eternal union with your spirit. It is at this deep level that My Peace reigns continually. You will not find lasting peace in the world around you, in circumstances, or in human relationships. The external world is always in flux – under the curse of death and decay. But there is a gold mine of Peace deep within you, waiting to be tapped. Take time to delve into the riches of My resideing Presence. I want you to live increasingly from your real Center, where My Love has an eternal grip on you…”

I still can allow people or circumstances to throw off my peace and centeredness. But I am getting much better in staying connected to that true self, within, and hold tight to my faith. There are several tool I use to do this. I believe it is possible for anyone that is struggling and wants to put in the work.

Part of this, is to remind myself that I cannot change or control others, I usually can’t control my circumstances, but I can control how I let them effect me. If I continue to do the right things for the right reasons (and hold on to my faith) then I will end up where I need to be. 😊❤

I must be aware of my own feelings, the way I watch the weather.

I

caught the first signs of a depression moving in. Just a cycle of my bipolar, like the seasons rolling in and out.

Battling depression or mood swings is a similar thing, to being aware of the seasons and weather. If I am watching the reports, grateful of my family and friends giving me a heads up, and staying aware… then I know a cold front is coming in and the weather is changing. If I know, then I can do some things: dress warm, have emergency supplies ready to go, and be prepared instead of stepping out into the unknown. I might still feel the chill of the air, but with a little work up front I can be sure to keep the cold from making my hands ache and getting chilled to the bone.

Break the mold, and just be you. Whatever that may be.

There is something, about myself, that I am coming to understand and accept. I have a deep sensitivity to others and their emotions.

Some may call this empathy. It could be that I have felt pain in so many areas, that I can connect and truly understand other’s pain. I have been told, by some, that it ould be something greater than that – people who believe themselves to be gifted or Empaths. Perhaps every human has this sensitivity but chooses to numb it out – as I did for most of my life.

This, I don’t have an answer for.

What I do know, is that for most all of my life, one of my greatest joys has been to go on backpacking retreats for days at a time. To isolate and be with nature. I didn’t understand why, at the time, but it was a way for me to center myself and hit the “reset button”on my own emotional state.

It took (over) a year on the road – isolated much of the time – to plant the seed on this personal revelation. When I stayed with a friend in New York City for a few months, I could only be in the city a few days at a time. I was so overwhelmed with stimulation, that I was almost rendered useless. I didn’t feel like I could conentrate long enough to accomplish anything. After a week, I went camping in upstate New York and stayed in my tent for a month and a half. Some of the most peaceful moments in my life, there, at the edge of a farm property at the entrance to hiking trails. I only visited my friend, in the city, a few times.

Currently, I stay at my workshop for most the time in the middle of the desert. Completely isolated. I flourish here. I make progress. Make leaps and bounds in personal and spiritual growth. It is home. The only reminder that I have, that I am attached to civilization, are a few houselights twinkling in the distance, the glow of Las Vegas on a hazy night, or the line of cars driving out of the mountains towards Pharump.

It will be a while before I am ready to co-habitate with a mate, as I enjoy my solitude greatly. I value and need my time alone. When I do reach that point, that person will need to give me vast amounts of personal space – as I need it to function as a human.

I say all of this because I have so many friends that are unhappy in thier life. I think we are conditioned, beginning at an early age, that there is a certain way that we should live our lives. A particular format for relationsips. We see this mimicked in our friends and family. On TV. Magazines. Everywhere.

I have some fortunate friends, though, who have broken out of this mold.

I have so much respect for how they balance an 8 – 5 corporate job and handle responsibilies during the week. On the weekend, they deviate from the normal and travel, have adventures, and do the things they love to do. Or, friends that are in relationships where the two of them have trust and respect for eachother and encourage eachother to go do their separte hobbies and ventures. Learn from eachoher. Love that they have different interests and needs. Find a way to accept and compromise to find a balance.

If you are unhappy, in your life, then I challenge you to do something different. Don’t be held back by “what would… think” or “people would think I’m crazy…”

Find your joy. Discover your talents. Step out of the box.

No more excuses. Love the monent, find yourself, and just be you.

I may not be great at it (yet), but doing something that makes me feel good is all that really matters.

I’m mixing yoga back into my routine. Wow, I suck, after a few years off. 😂😂

Doesn’t matter. 😊 I walked the walk, instead of talking the talk – and complaining about my back aching and how flexible used to be. Took the action. That is part if my living healthy, now. That I do things differently and take action. That is part of self-love, to me.

I took 20 minutes this morning. I feel stretched, connected spiritually, relaxed, fulfilled, confident, and ready for my day.

How do you love yourself. What is something you’ve been saying to yourself, “I’m going to…”?

Today is a good day. Go do it. No more excuses, go love the moment. Find yourself and BE YOU!!

It happens so quickly – when I stop for a moment, connect to my senses, and open my soul.

Even when frustrated. A little irritated.

I look at something like this. I say “Thank you Mother Nature. Thank you, God, for making the laws of physics that make up Mother Nature and giving us the ability to recognize such beauty.”

All the sudden, my problems become so small against such grandeur. My frustration and irritation dissipate. I smile. I feel fulfilled.

I have just connected spiritually – talked to God. I have been humbled. I have been filled with gratitude. My faith has been renewed.

It happens so quickly, when I stop my mind, connect with my senses, and open my soul.

My vape is now another bad habit that I am changing, just a vapor tail floating out of existence.

We can change the things we don’t like about ourselves.

We don’t have to be defined from anything. I am changing through the work I am doing on myself. Anybody can. I am not defined by past, the way my brain is wired, my fear, other’s ideas of how I need to live my life, society, media, my addiction recovery, or bipolar.

Now, when I don’t like something about myself or lifestyle – no more excuses – I change it. It takes time and hard work, but that work is so damn worth it. Part of building the path to my happiness.

In this case, it’s a habit I have been slave to. I had my final stand, today. It was either a sign from above or my body rejecting it. I had finally replaced the glass on my vape the other night, and today the damn top popped off and my glass broke again. Before that, it made me so nauseous that I almost vomited with car sickness. So I’ve taken it apart and put it away.

I have been taking about giving up my vape, for a while. I began stepping down from 24 nic.

Few reasons: 1. I feel like I need it, at times. I stopped caffeine after noon, but I’m phasing out any mood altering substance. 2. I leave it everywhere and break it often. It’s becoming an expense that I don’t want. 3. It dries my mouth

out. Last thing you need in the desert. Dry mouth. 😂😂

I wouldn’t mind getting some good cherry and vanilla pipe tobacco, though. Pulling out my grandpa’s pipes, here and there, for a relaxing puff while reading a book. 🙂

After this, I tackle time management. Those who know my #wtfibtime know that this will be my ultimate challenge. Lifetime of rationalizing this bad behavior, is coming to an end.

Fighting a war, winning battles. My new workshop is a big win. 🙂

We all are fighting a war of some kind. Our own battles are the hardest we have had to fight. So my failures, wins, pain, and joy can’t be compared to others. But, we can unite through being open about where we have been and what we have done to win our individual battles.

Those who know me, know that I’ve made a choice to be happy. I am at war with my past, my unhealthy cycles, my mental disorder, my fears, and my addiction. But today, I win more battles than ever and stay trained – so I’m not caught off guard.

Part of that is exploring myself, and I’ve found that I have some amazing abilities. We all do. Mine have led me to a point where I need a place to find peace, be able to create, and work.

I am so excited that I have found such a spot.

I’m equally excited that you are all here with me. We are never alone and if you feel stuck, you can make it through. It can be hard work at times, but happiness is there to be found.