I’m mixing yoga back into my routine. Wow, I suck, after a few years off. 😂😂
Doesn’t matter. 😊 I walked the walk, instead of talking the talk – and complaining about my back aching and how flexible used to be. Took the action. That is part if my living healthy, now. That I do things differently and take action. That is part of self-love, to me.
I took 20 minutes this morning. I feel stretched, connected spiritually, relaxed, fulfilled, confident, and ready for my day.
How do you love yourself. What is something you’ve been saying to yourself, “I’m going to…”?
Today is a good day. Go do it. No more excuses, go love the moment. Find yourself and BE YOU!!
Even when frustrated. A little irritated.
I look at something like this. I say “Thank you Mother Nature. Thank you, God, for making the laws of physics that make up Mother Nature and giving us the ability to recognize such beauty.”
All the sudden, my problems become so small against such grandeur. My frustration and irritation dissipate. I smile. I feel fulfilled.
I have just connected spiritually – talked to God. I have been humbled. I have been filled with gratitude. My faith has been renewed.
It happens so quickly, when I stop my mind, connect with my senses, and open my soul.
I had to make a decision: to be happy or continue to simply exist? The decision to be happy came around September of last year – I was homeless and living out of my car, on the road.
I had gotten in trouble in many ways (possible legal trouble, that worked itself out), disappointed and hurt everyone I knew (again), and hated the person that I was. I was doing the bare minimum to live; waiting to die. I had left, on my journey, with the intentions of never connecting to another person. As I came out of a nasty drug relapse, and my head cleared in upstate New York (now living out of a tent), I made a decision to change. Not for show or to “survive,” but realized that I had to. For me.
I made the decision to find the path to happiness.
I used my new Instagram to document my journey and began connecting to people in magnificent ways. Met people on the road that became like family. Change was happening, but I didn’t know how to focus it.
I had tried in the past. Learned so many tools in recovery and outpatient programs for my bipolar disorder. But felt overwhelmed by the number of daily things that I had to do. I also hadn’t let go of some unhealthy ideas and my huge false pride.
In the past 6 months, the real progress has occurred. Leading up to that, I was experimenting with things that did and didn’t work. I had to learn that change comes slowly. Pick one or two things and be consistent with them. Keep what sticks and replace what doesn’t. Be patient with myself. When I fail, not to let it knock me back down to the foot of the mountain. Just dust off and keep pushing.
I wont be making New Years resolutions. That has always been a set up for failure. Instead, I’ll see every day as a “New Year” and continue walking the path to become a better person.
I say this for those of my friends who feel overwhelmed by change. Dont worry. Dont stress. Try one or two things that you have been wanting to change – and you dont have to wait till the New Year. 😂😂 Every day is a good day to try something new or do something that makes you feel better about yourself.
I thank Mother Nature for that. To me, Mother Nature was created by the laws of physics and science – put into place by a higher power. I’m not religious, but very spiritual. Also, science based. If science proves, without doubt, that energy can not be created or destroyed – then where did it originate from ultimately?
I used to thank God at every beautiful sunset, smell of a fragrant flower, or fluffy cloud that captivated me. Now I smile and say “thank you Mother Nature.” Then I thank God – that gratitude keeps me humble and centered – for giving humans the ability to recognize that beauty. Ability to perceive symmetry. For the Golden Proportion that is found in almost all of nature and it giving us joy from a lobe in our brain and then down to the soul. Or does it hit the soul first, as a gift for us to connect spiritually, then registered by the brain?
Doesn’t matter to me. I feel the connection when I slow down and am open to it. For that, I am so grateful.
There was a time, when a depression cycle hit, that I would hide from friends and family. I would disconnect and isolate. I would let the darkness take hold, and burry myself into a sadness and pain that lasted for weeks.
I was alone in the desert when it hit. I was beginning on a project that I found SO EXCITING! But the blueprint, in my head, disappeared completely. I couldn’t get any of the electronics to work. I couldn’t accomplish anything. Growing in frustration – I knew where this path would lead.
Instead I surrounded myself with people who have become like family. Understanding of my illness, and that this is taking 3 times as long as it should, Ms. Cindy has helped me where I got stuck in simple places. Given me space to collect myself when I’ve needed it. Supported my healing with natural remedies and support. I pushed through, but not alone. I received support from my mother, friends, and @yonasdebesai. I can’t live healthy and stay centered without a support network. Even kind messages from friends on social media, that I have never met. I am so thankful to them and the faith that has been growing within me. Thank you all.
Today the fog is lifting. The aches are leaving my body. I can listen to music and let my soul sing. I can create again. I feel connected again.
As the sun set and the stars began to light the sky, I thought: “I may not be able to see a billion stars…”
But then, I watched the Milky Way spill across the sky. I saw a few planets, twinkling low across the horizon. Phasing in, were thousands upon thousands of sprinkled little lights, shining brightly for unknown millions and trillions of light years, through the darkness of space.
All so we can gaze at them in ushered wonderment.
“I may not be able to see a billion stars, but looking up at this sky removes any doubt that they are out there.”
I was not alone, I was laying across a (still) warm rock with gratitude and faith.
I hate using the word “client,” because the people that have come into my life become so much more. I would say they become family.
Maybe part of that is because I have learned to slow down and connect with people. Listen to their stories and grow from them. I think part of that is because I have to understand them and connect to them to create their functional art. What I create can be very custom across several mediums and materials; I have found that there is a huge emotional component to their vision. I must feel that to see it.
But, we were at a salvage place looking at materials for the 20 foot by 25 foot wall mural that I’m preparing to build and found this table. Solid wood and just beautiful.
She haggled then down to 25 dollars and bought it for me – to see what what it would become. It’s so beautiful on so many levels. 🙂
I say this often, but when we slow down, and live in the moment, then we become open to all the beauty that exists around us.